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Taking
Flight
I'm currently miles above the Atlantic Ocean,
more affectionately referred to as "The Pond" separating
Europe and America. Granted this won't be up until I've landed
and settled back into my cozy little dorm room, I feel like
my thoughts at this moment are worthy of posting. The past
few months in St. Andrews have been absolutely wonderful,
just as I've been telling people that ask
often with
a certain lack of detail and, as Chris' mom unfortunately
found out, a severe case of echolalia (repeating myself).
I meant to write: emails, journal entries (both electronic
and traditional), details about daily happenings, insightful
personal thoughts and feelings. Guess how much I've actually
done. Well those of you who have been kind enough to email
me know my typical response time: months
if at all. Also
my faithfulness in online journaling is somewhat reminiscent
of my paper journaling as well. The best I've done is in writing
daily details in my moleskin journal that Will so thoughtfully
gave me. Honestly without that I think that I wouldn't have
even given a second thought to recording anything that I've
done here.
Well as 2006 has rolled in and the tradition
of New Years resolutions is oh so cliché, I think that
I'll give it a go. I know that a lot of people believe in
my motivation and ability to accomplish things well, and I
appreciate that and I honestly haven't been living up to squat
for quite a while. I luckily can manage to get away with not
putting forth much effort and still "look good."
This however isn't good enough anymore. Now don't get the
wrong idea and think that I am mad at myself for slacking
(even though I am). Lets just say that something that happened
on the plane to Chicago got me thinking. About halfway to
Chicago from Phoenix the stewardess got onto the announcement
phone and asked if there were any medical doctors on board.
During the ensuing pause with no response
all I could
think was, "I want to be that doctor someday." I
thought, hey I'll have an M.D. in the future and when someone
calls out, is there a doctor here? I can stand up and say
yes. But beyond that, the degree won't save someone's life.
It's not good enough to pass the classes and the tests. What
helps the world, whether it be through research or helping
someone who is having heart attack symptoms on a three hour
flight, isn't a high test score. Sitting in this plane, practically
scratching the stars, is only an illusion of being in outer
space. As I look outside my window at the stars and feel like
I could reach out and touch them, yet they are light years
away. I don't want to sit back and let the illusion be enough.
I don't want to be another pretender; I want to be one of
the few astronauts who actually leave the Earth's atmosphere
and soars in a different kind of reality.
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