LOVE AND DEVELOPMENT OF SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS

Chapter 7

What is love?

Difficult to define
 
 

Rubinís "love scale" (13-item measuring device)

3 components attachment
 
 

caring
 
 

intimacy
 
 
 

some validity to this measure
Types of love Passionate love (infatuation or romance) Intense psychological feelings
 
 

Physiological arousal
 
 
 
 

Typically, strong sexual desire
 
 

Companionate love
 
  Friendly affection and deep attachment
 
 
Sternberg's Triangular Theory
 
  Three Components Passion
 
 

Intimacy
 
 

Commitment
 
 

Passion builds, intensifies, then fades; intimacy and commitment continue to build
Lee's Styles of Loving
 
  Romantic
 
 

Game-playing
 
 

Possessive
 
 

Companionate
 
 

Altruistic
 
 

Pragmatic
 
 

Research is limited
 
 

Falling in love: why and with whom
 
 

The chemistry of love
 
  Neurotransmitters in the brain similar to amphetamine
 
  Norepinephrine
 
 

Dopamine
 
 

Phenylethylamine (PEA)
 
 

The body builds tolerance
 
 

Endorphins may be responsible for deeper attachments
 
 

Loss or potential loss of a loved one may be similar to drug withdrawal
 
 
 
 

Proximity (geograpical "nearness")
 
  Familiarity breeds liking
 
 

Familiarity breeds predictability --> greater comfort
 
 
 
 

Effects of "culture" and "community"
 
 
 
 

Similarity
 
 

Reciprocity
 
 
 
 

Physical attractiveness

Aesthetically pleasing
The Development of Intimacy
 
  Self love MOST IMPORTANT STEP!
 
  Genuine interest, concern and respect for self
 
 

Prerequisite for a satisfying relationship with others
 
 

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
 
 

The phases of a relationship
    1. Inclusion

    2.  

       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       

    3. Response

    4.  

       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       

    5. Care

    6.  

       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       

    7. Trust

    8.  

       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       

    9. Affection

    10.  

       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       

    11. Playfulness

    12.  

       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       

    13. Genitality
Issues in loving relationships Relationship between love and sex Several possibilities
 
 

Questions to ask
 
 

Sex and relationships on your terms
 
 
 
  Each person has to decide how to express his or her own sexuality
 
 

Steps to take
 
 

Jealousy in relationships = defined as an aversive feeling in response to a real or imagined relationship between one's partner and another person.
 
  Jealousy prone person Low self-esteem Negative consequences Numerous gender differences in: triggers, experiences and coping with jealousy
Maintaining relationship satisfaction Ingredients in a lasting love relationship
 
  Self acceptance
 
 

Appreciation of each others qualities
 
 

Commitment
 
 

Good communication
 
 

Realistic expectations
 
 

Shared interests
 
 

Ability to face and deal with conflict
 
 

Sexual variety