<<Choose a different piece of spam...

"The Power of Prey"

Prey was three sheets to the wind and looking for a fight. He’d vomited his lunch to make room for more vodka and was happy he did. For the first time in years… he was thinking on a higher level of intellect (vodka will do that). Yes… he could challenge that biker gang to a game of “pain” and win.

Pain was an easy game. You hit him, he hits you, the first one to break three of the other person’s bones (or get knocked out) won. Prey wasn’t afraid of pain, he had enough booze in him to kill the pain of a baseball bat to the groin. He sized up the 8 bikers, took off his pants and lit a cigarette.

The gang couldn’t help but notice the odd looking man coming in their direction. Not everyone will approach a biker gang wearing butt floss (pink). Maybe he wanted to party they thought. Their attention turned to Prey as they surrounded him. Damn. Prey had lit the wrong end of the cigarette. He must have been thinking about the movie “When the wife is not enough”.

He would play “pain” with all of them… all at the same time for a pair of pants. Actually… 8 pairs of pants. As the gang members laughed to the point of tears, the small bulky gang member stepped up deliver the first shot. Prey met the man’s fist with his fist. Bones broke as the fists connected. There was a slight pause…. and then the biker dropped to the ground in pain. 1 down, 7 to go thought Prey.

Three of the bikers became enraged. They jumped at Prey as downhill would jump on a hooker. Prey was ready. With the speed of Ali, Prey broke both bones and the wrist of the first man. The second man found it impossible to breath… as 4 ribs broke before he saw the blow coming. The third man started to react to events… but not in time. Prey broke his jaw (in three places so it counts) with a crushing right to the face. 4 down. 4 to go.

The next three guys pulled weapons. A chain, a knife and a rather nice southern pine 2X4 (soaked in oil for three months so it would not brake, crack or splinter). Prey knew he needed to dispose of these three quickly as he needed more vodka. Grabbing the 2X4 from the first man, he broke the legs of the man with the chain. Grabbing the chain, he broke 1 rib, one finger and 6 toes on the man who had the 2X4 (bet you didn’t know he had 6 toes did you). The last man holding the knife turned around and ran into a brick wall. Seeing as how he knocked himself out, technically it counted as a win. 7 down. 1 to go.

The last gang member was the leader. Experience and wisdom showed. With the confidence of a grizzly, the last member of the gang calmly walked in Prey’s direction. Vodka. Prey needed more vodka. As he focused on the last gang member, he felt odd. Not the odd you feel when you lean against the washing machine when it’s on the spin cycle, but odd as if he was going to be sick. As Prey buckled over to vomit, the last gang member grabbed Prey by the hair and brought back his fist to hit Prey in the face.

Prey blew chum. It was green. It had square chunks. It smelled bad. The last member caught the wave of industrial waste full in the face. Tripped over a body on the ground, he hit his head on the curb. Prey stood alone.

Drunk as brembo on a Saturday night, Prey started to remove the pants off the gang members when the police arrived. Although he tried to explain the game of “pain” and the associated bet to the police, they put him in the squad car.

As Prey looked at the back of the officer’s head, he remembered that riding in police cars made him car sick.

The End