<<Choose a different piece of spam...

"Brembo the Deer"

Without taking his hands off the wheel of the truck, he reached over and went for the clasp on the bra. For a moment… the thought she might wake. No… there was a big fat drool slipping out the corner of her mouth. Green light. His fat fingers moved faster.

Grope and grasp as he could, he couldn’t get the bra undone. Maybe it was one of those fancy French bras that used spring steel or duct tape. As frustration flooded his pea like brain he suddenly remembered. “I’ll bet it’s a front clasp bra.” His attention turned to the front of her dress. Good spam is buried deep into an existing thread. Furthermore, you pace yourself and let others post in-between so your spam goes unnoticed except to the most attentive eye.

The woman was not asleep. She was not a woman. She was not wearing a bra and this guy pawing her was a sharp as 6 pounds of wet leather. He/she readied itself to crush his larynx (or is that lynx). Anyway… the fat truck driver started for the front of her dress when he noticed the wheat thin from that trip he took two weeks ago. There it was. He was hungry and the green moss just needed to be wiped off. His hand moved from the dress to the cracker.

As the deer stepped out onto the road, the lights of the oncoming truck were but a twinkle in the distance. Plenty of time to make it across the road. Bambi was the name… and getting across the road was the game. However… getting a truck to do a 55mph into a tree would be a perk. Bambi turned her butt into the direction of the on coming truck. Did I say Bambi? I met brembo. (note to self… a little more orange juice with the vodka next time).

The truck driver had the cracker. Without dusting the green moss… into his fat puffy cheeks it disappeared. Oh boy!!! It wasn’t a cracker it was a tic-tac. The sleeping woman/man came alive. As the fat man choked on the green thing, the he/she went for his groin with the dull end of the hammer. Just then the driver saw brembo’s butt. He hit the brakes.

The deer (that would be brembo for those who are drinking as much as I am) expertly calculated the distance the truck would travel with the tires locked up. 3 – 2 – 1 brembo make a jump to the left and then flashed his tail. The truck reacted by swerving to the right and made it’s way at the rather large oak tree. Perk time……

As the driver hit the brakes… the he/she saw the flash of the tail and the oak tree all in a split second. The driver (still trying to suck in air after being hit in the groin by the hammer) also saw the tail and tree. Eyes wide open… he could only think of one thing. GO FOR THE BRA. He did. He/she reacted, the deer watched and laughed. The truck hit the tree at 55mph and the load of chickens the guy was hauling suddenly became airborne. It was pretty.

As the highway patrolman wrote up the accident report, he could not help but notice the green thing oozing from the fat mans lips. He also couldn’t help noticing the man dressed as a woman next to the fat man. All this as a deer somewhere off in the distance could be heard laughing (if deer do know how to laugh).

What was that? A good 7 or 8 solid posts? Not bad for a guy sitting in front of his computer with no cloths on making funny noises on the leather chair.