Through Women's Eyes: Southeast Asian American Women's Stories by Lisa Falk & Ang Robinson

Sisopha Mai Ced their brother, Somet, who, before the Communist takeover, had worked as a waiter at a restaurant frequented by foreign journalists. His ties with these journalists later helped the family get to America.Shortly after arriving in the United States, Bopha gave birth to a daughter. She had married a Cambodian man while at the Thai refugee camp. The family—Bopha, her husband and baby, Sisopha and Somet—at first shared a small apartment in Maryland. Sisopha worked as a domestic, but decided that she wanted more freedom and money and so got a kitchen job at a restaurant. It was there that she met Francisco Chavez, a Salvadorian refugee, who became her husband. They have two children. The families stuck together, all working hard and pooling their resources. They moved to Arlington, VA and lived in an apartment until they could afford to buy a large, modern house in Dale City. The family continued to work as a unit, cleaning office buildings at night while holding daytime jobs in a variety of restaurants. In 1988, the extended family had gathered enough cash to buy a store in Arlington, Virginia. They named it the Asian Grocery Market. Their customers are a mix of Asians, Latinos and Anglo Americans.

The idea for a grocery market came from Sisopha’s experience in the refugee camp. One day a woman who was selling rice cakes gave one to Sispoha. Although hungry, she did not eat it but saved it. At the end of the day when the rice cake seller had run out of cakes, Sisopha then sold hers for a good price. The next day, she used this money to purchase rice cakes, which she sold, again, at the end of the day when the price was higher. The rice cake money helped them survive in the refugee camp and get to America. Out of this black market experience, grew the Asian Grocery Market. havez and Bopha Mai (sisters) came to the United States from Cambodia in the early 1980's. Their road to freedom was not easy. During the Pol Pot regime, the family was separated, and the Khmer Rouge killed their father, three brothers, and two sisters. Three years later, Sisopha and Bopha, unbeknownst to one another, joined a long parade of people walking west. They did not know where they were headed, only that there was supposed to be rice there. During the long walk, Sisopha and Bopha discovered each other! Joining forces in the refugee camp, they took turns walking through the camp looking for family members. They discover

When the family was separated in Cambodia, their mother and a sister, were in Vietnam collecting rents on farmland they owned. When Bopha, Sisopha and Somet arrived in the United States they tirelessly tried to find their mother. At their store, they would ask customers who had recently come from Cambodia or Vietnam, if they had seen or heard anything of their mother. Finally one customer said that they knew where she was in Vietnam. Working through the legal system to bring their mother and sister to America was the next step in family reunification. In February 1992, after seventeen years of separation, the remainders of the Mai family were reunited at National Airport in Virginia.

Sisopha on their exile experience

I escaped by walking. It took twenty-five hours. Everyone in the family were all in separate places in the Battamabang provinence of Cambodia. My sister, Bopha, and I were separated. For two years we did not see each other.

I walked from Battambang to Thailand. When I was walking alone, I saw Bopha. She ran to hold me and cry. I could not recognize her. So skinny, but her knees were big and walk clumsily. My fat hands—not fat from eating, bloated from water, they were too heavy, like an elephant’s legs. She could not walk well. We could not recognize each other. We cried. Together we walked to Nong Samet refugee camp near the Thai border.

We were in the refugee camps for one year. From Nang Samet, we went to stay in Keladan camp. We were there for six months. Eventually we meet my brother, Someth, and sister, Orphear, at Nang Samet, but I didn't know that yet. Before we found them, we thought they were dead. Bopha was the one that found my sister and my brother.”

Sisopha and Bopha on success

I can do it. I work just like I dreamed. The first time I came here, I didn't think I could do this. I came here, and I looked so poor, very poor. I didn't have anything.”

Work hard. If you don't work hard, you don't make money here. My whole family likes to work hard. Oh, I'm happy here. I'm happy to work here. I like to work hard to save some money and think about the future.”

I just want to say to young Cambodian children, that they should study, because there are good schools in this country, the great opportunities to study. The more you study, the more you know. That’s a lot better than not knowing anything. I want Cambodians, all the children to work hard. I want all the children to work hard.

Sisopha on survival economics

One day I went for a walk, I saw the lady [selling rice cakes]. They sold a lot. I said, ‘Oh, that cake she sells [in exchange] for gold, not for money. I know what I needed to do.’ I just asked her, said, 'Can I have one?' She gave me one. I said the lady was very nice. She gave me one, but I did not eat it. I stayed close to her. She sold [all of her cakes]. Hers were all gone. [There was only] one piece left, [worth] one ounce of gold, right? She sold [cakes], hers were all gone, and she left. Only me. I had one like hers that I didn't eat. I sat like that [like she had]. Some people came over there, they want to buy it. I said, ‘Okay.’ She sold one for one ounce of gold, right? When I sold one, I sold it for two ounce of gold.