Coming from the land of  Phanatics and Cheesesteaks, America’s oldest brewery (www.yuengling.com), I’ve learned what lagers are all about. But is there really a right answer to light vs. dark? That depends…

When you’re having more than one 10:
            This is a slippery slope. Keystone Light is the official beer of sports, so they claim, but here at BrownBag we believe it’s worth shelling out the extra three bucks for a case of Bud Light. The theory on this is, with how watered down beers like Keystone Light, or Busch Light are, you get more of a buzz off 6 Bud Lights than 10 Keystones; it’s time to start thinking long term here people. Get more bang for your buck.

Editor’s note: Nobody’s going to blame you for a high-school style blackout brought to you by the fine people at Natural Light who will never urge you to drink responsibly.

I found 20 bucks in my jeans from last month, I’m going classy:
            Here’s a perfect situation to pull out a real nice beer and act like you know the difference. Most people will just pull out the classics Dos Equis Amber, Blue Moon, Sam Adams Boston Lager etc., but there’s a better move. Go seasonal. Most of these brewing companies offer seasonal beers, a spin-off of their taste made to match the mood of the season (yes, I know it’s just beer). Samuel Adams offers one for every season, New Belgium Brewing Company, the people who bring you Fat Tire do the same. You’ll get the same taste you’re accustomed to with these beers with something new. The best part? Acting like you’ve waited a year for it to be re-released.

Eating with a friend’s parent, boss or anyone considered grown up:

     Easy cowboy, this is dangerous territory. Your first move is to make sure they’re ordering a drink, hard alcohol is a topic for another time, so let’s say they order something in the mid-range, like Blue Moon or Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. Here’s what you do, ask what’s on draft. You want to avoid the bottle-at-the-dinner-table if you’re in a nice restaurant, but at a lunch you’ll be safe. The one real guideline here is not to try anything new. Order something you’re comfortable that they have on tap, it’ll avoid the awkward “You only drank half your beer” comments, or the even more strange changing-your-beer-order-after-only-drinking-one-like-you-couldn’t-bear-drinking-another-without-puking.

Hey guys, kegger at my house:
            Ahh, glorious words. The best text message one could ever receive, and a damn good feeling when you’re the one sending it. Contrary to the previous two scenarios, here’s a situation where going light, and going cheap is going to pay off. Kegs of Blue Moon or Yuengling (I know, you’ve never heard of it but just imagine it’s really, really good beer) sound like a great idea, but they’re insanely expensive circa $130 and not the best for chugging (after all, you’ve got a whole keg). Just like before, a standard Miller Lite would be met with applause, but nobody complains about the keg of High Life (it’s the champagne of beers!) because after all, there’s a whole lot of beer in there.

----AT